To Me in the past: I know you will never get this, because you are in the past, and I am in the now, and I do nto know how to time travel. However I feel a reply would be good.

I am doing pretty damn good. No, I do not have a job - although I have re-applied at places. I am thinking of going to school, to be a Librarian, hehe. Our dream job, ne?

No, actually, I am single now - and very happy still. You were right back then - Shush is wonderful, but I think because of my past I need a big break from that sort of emotional bond, and I see him as a very good friend. I do still love him, but I am trying to make him realize (bit by bit) that we will only ever be friends. It is hard.

We do have a cat by now! Her name is Paint and she is utterly adorable. I think that she is sick, however, so a visit to the vet is in order soon. You were right, we do have a horrid memory, and I was quite shocked, and happy, to read this and realize that my life is still fairly stable, and that I am still happy.

YES my dyslexia still kicks in, thank god for spell check, but it doesn't always catch things. haha.  I still edit like crazy.

Well taking care of myself went slack a bit - but reading this has made me kick it back in gear. I got a bunch of stuff to help me keep it up, doing something I absolutely love, so that should help.

Thank you for writing this, Me in the past.

=D

(I jsut got this email. I actually forgot about this, how strange, lol.)

Dear Me,
How are you doing, right now, I wonder? I wonder if you are still addicted to music, love, and life. I can tell you right now, this song on here is one of our favorites - I've been listening to it on repeat for half an hour now! I wonder if you still like it?

I just thought I would check in on you, since we rarely ever think to make sure we are really doing okay. I know right now, here where I am, things are up in the air and feeling strange, and a bit scary. I'm madly in love - I hope you two are still together now, in the future. Shush is very wonderful. I'm also thinking about going to school, and definitely trying to get a job. Kell says once I have one we can get a kitten or two I hope we have two cute kitties by then. Or maybe cats, I'm not picky, as you well know.

Riiight now! I am eating ice cream. Black raspberry, and dutch chocolate. Two of our faaavorite flavors. I think it gave me a bit of a sugar rush, otherwise why would I write this? I don't like doing things liek this - it's scary, because who wants to be reminded of the past if it all falls apart? Normally I would never do this - because I know all too well that things can fall apart at any moment, and nothing should be taken for granted. Because in the future, maybe I am homeless and heartbroken again, or maybe I am not even here. What then? How will this affect me and the people who read it?

I'm not quite sure, but something compels me, something that I cannot put words to, or even really fathom. I have this deepest urge that this is the right thing to do. Of course, it isn't really all that long that I am sending this - a mere half a year (plus a few extra hours) - but by then I think things should have changed enough to make a difference, no matter how small.

I wonder what you are feeling, reading this right now. I know by then you will have forgotten that I wrote this - we have such a horrible memory.  Are you smiling and reminiscing good times? Are you remembering better times, and crying because you miss them? Are you laughing at what a silly bint I am? Well, I hope it isn't the second one. I really do. Because that will mean our hopes and dreams have died again, and neither of us really wants that.

There isn't really much to say here, I think I'm jsut rambling on and on and on. This is also probably a lot different than what other people write when they do things. Maybe. Maybe not? I wouldn't know. I've never done one of these until now! Does your dyslexia still kick in and cause you to mix up letters (especially in those dratted four letter words!)? Do you still always forget to read over things before you press that submit button, like me, and then read over the entry a half-dozen times and edit it until every last mistake that you can catch is gone (or until you finally give up)? I wonder if your grammar and punctuation are still as atrocious as mine is. We may be a whiz at spelling things, dyslexia aside, but I don't think either of us payed enough attention in English class. Too busy reading books, probably.

I wonder if you still have that black and purple layout. I hope the font isn't white!!! Because then this will probably be pretty hard to read, what with the light background I usually put on my larger entries. Hehehe.

Anyways, I jsut wanted to see how you are doing, make sure you are okay. I hope you've started taking better care of yourself, and kept at it - I know damn well that I plan to!

~Marina

Soooo I have decided to try to write at least one entry on this site a week. Lets see if I can do this, ne? Even if its jsut saying "Hi there. I'm writing an entry! wheee!!!)

On another note: KELLEN!!!!! TAROT IS NOT SUDOKU!! GET IT STRAIGHT!!!!!!! YOU ARE PLAYING SUDOKU!. Goodness gracious. Wtf dude, your brain sure is dead right now.
I jest, I jest.
It's my fault for talking constantly about how interesting it is though. XD  I am poisoning your brain, bwahahahahahahahaha. HAH YOU DID IT AGAIN! Oh how I have poisoned you.

Anyways this is it for now I guess? lol

TTYL PEOPLES THAT I HEART!

~Mari

Yeah its been forever. I know.

Haven't been able to write lately. No one reads this except for like my roommate anyways so. XD

I jsut need to rant I am in pain. got a bad mouth burn over christmas and even though its mostly healed its hurting a lot lately. PLUS I have to go to the fucking dentist because I didnt take care of my teeth while I was in florida and therefore I probably have more cavities than I have teeth. My wisdom teeth need pulled. THE PAIN!!!!

Never had a bad toothache before. Oh I wish I still never had.

anyways ugh
jsut
blah
XD