February 12, 2009

• Life in all its

  hectic glory.

  The past two weeks have been filled with stress for me. As some of you may know, I currently live with a friend in a one bedroom apartment. There really isn’t enough room, so we finally decided that I need my own room, ‘stead of sleepin on the couch every night. (He offered to let me have the bedroom and I refused – he’s paying the bills. -_-; ) xD So anyways, we started the rather annoying process of applying to get a bigger apartment. for a while I was really worried that we wouldn’t be able to move, but to my surprise, today’s letter from the complex had the words “Congratulations! Your move in date is March the 3rd” on it. hahaha. So, now we begin the process of packing and I begin the process of freaking out.

  It isn’t that I don’t want to move – I do, very much so. I need more space, I need my own room, and most of all I need to be able to think better. It’s too crowded to think here. In the new place, we’ll have our own backyard and everything, its a townhome, so its two stories, two bedrooms, two bathrooms (one and a half actually) thank God, a much bigger kitchen and a ginormous living room.

  But I hate moving. I always have hated moving, I severely dislike change, because change usually means bad things for me. I want to move, but it scares the shit outta me.  Just thinking about it is enough to send me into a blinding panic attack.

  I guess the reason why it is so bad is that, when I was in Florida.. I almost never moved because I wanted to. Most of the time I moved because I had become homeless, or got fired, or kicked out, or something. It isn’t that I’m a bad roommate, (I don’t think anyways. o.o) its that I had bad taste in roommates when it came to long term arrangements, with very few exceptions. I moved around a LOT. I lived in over 12 places in the course of a year. Less than a year. And one of those places I stayed for 6 months so within less than six months I had lived in at least 11 different places. Not including the person I stayed with for only one day. Also not including the other half a year (or so) I was living there and bouncing around from place to place.

  It was hectic, and I was scared outta my wits, and a bunch of other stuff going on. Needless to say that made me fear moving even more.

  So yeah. bug, hectic, very much needed change, but scary nonetheless. Lets just hope I don’t have too many panic attacks, it isn’t that long until we move… >_< I’m doing a shitty job at keeping this updated – and I’m hoping to make money off this thing? Pft. not gonna happen if things keep going like this. I’ll try to do better, and not get caught up in life too much. As for the other post, it has to wait for now. Lol. Well other several posts. I know what to write about, however I am having a severe writers block.. -_- I even have all the research. so yeah that’ll wait until after I have moved ^_^

  Talk to you guys later.
  ~Mari

  • 4:20 am
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